You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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