her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
don't judge my taste in strippers
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
