a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
