I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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