Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
