So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
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He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.