yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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