..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
