i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
