garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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