You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
