i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
