Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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