You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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