Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
