in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
