I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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