dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You have to summon your inner elephant
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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