Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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