you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
