you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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