I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He passed out mid-signature
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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