You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Come see our sink grown plant.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
This is the high leading the old right now
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
