I think I died a long time ago.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
