just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
