I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
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