After last night, I could never be a politician.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
