Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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