i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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