i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Randomize