He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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