I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
no you cant smoke seaweed
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
She's the barista slut.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
