Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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