So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
