You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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