Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
