we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
