well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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