i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
