Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
