i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
‪Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best. ‬
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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