Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
