so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
