I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
