If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
