You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
