So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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