If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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