Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just invented taco cereal.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
