rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
