I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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