I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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