spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
