oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
