You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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