her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The adults are the big ones right?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
