I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Holy sore nipples Batman
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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