maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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