ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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