Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
God gave him joint rollers for hands
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
