I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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