my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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