I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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